What all Do I have now?

Childhood

I questioned everything in my childhood. Not that I don’t raise questions now, the degree and nature of questioning was surely higher and abstract respectively when the amount of responsibility on my shoulders was less. You see today I don’t have time to invest in these trivial questions. Back to my childhood, I was always curious about everything. Why did it happen like that?, what will happen when I do this rather than that?, why does the sun have to set so that night could come?, why do I am the one who always has to go out to bring sweets for guests and not my sister?, what happens when someone dies?, why do I have to save my head when someone dies?, why can’t girls looking like Madhuri Dixit found in streets beside my home? were some of the million questions that reverberated in my mind. I heard from someone that a scientist is the one who finds answers to all unanswered questions. So, I wanted to be a scientist; this way I could get rid of all the noises in my head and be at peace. Then again what would a child know about peace? There is a song in a movie called Rock on! which goes like this: aasman hai neela kyun, paani geela geela kyun, gol lyun hai zameen? which translates roughly to: Why is the key blue?, why is water wet?, why is earth round?. I think this phase of my existence can be linked up to this song.
I could make friends easily, used to play a lot, and ate a lot. I liked talking a lot, talking about anything as long as my hunger for curiosity was satisfied. Then I turned silent. I joined School.

School

The questions were decreasing as my age was increasing. Logic took over imagination, reasoning took over creativity, and shrewdness took over innocence. My father told me repeatedly that education shapes a person’s character, and so I walked on the road illuminated by him. My father is a very wise man, I knew that from the moment I added the word ‘wise’ into my vocabulary. Convincing my father of my capabilities was my utmost priority; so I behaved like an obedient, studious, and hardworking child behaves. I excelled in academics and sports and stayed away from abusive seniors, pretty girls and night outs. I was doing the right thing, I thought. My teachers were singing songs of my praise, parents were urging their sons/daughters to be like me and my father was happy. I had crushes but ignored them because being in a relationship was a taboo for me. What would my father think?, how will I convince him that my hormones took over my thinking?. These were the only questions that echoed in my mind. I lived my school life without living it. If a song is used to represent this phase of my existence it has to be sari umra hum mar mar ke jee lie, is pal to ab hame jine do jine do which translated to all my life I have been living like I am dying, let me live this moment, from the movie 3 idiots. My monotonous life was about to change. College was next in line.

College

 Ah!, when I think of college I can not help but smile ear to ear. What days those were. Initially, my morals, ethics, and values were so strongly induced in me that college was another school. A point of note here, I am not criticising my father for raising me up that way; in fact I am grateful to him because I am who I am because of him, I respect him immensely and will learn from him till my dying breath. Now back to my blabbering. The most difficult thing that I did in college was not learning electrical machines, or writing code, it was letting go; letting go of all the stereotypes that had grown in my mind all these years. No, talking and hanging out with girls is not bad, no, laughing and making jokes about your friends involving a little amount of profanity is not blasphemy, no, the word ‘sex’ is not like the word ’voldemort’ which cannot be uttered loudly in open, and no, failing in exams is not the end of the world. I completely let go. College transformed me from a confused and scared child to an outspoken and rebellious adult. So the song for this part of my life has to be from a movie very close to my heart ,i.e, Udaan; the song is aazadiyan (look it up, no amount of translation can do justice of the beautiful poetry that this song has) 

So, what all do I have now?

I have experiences that are engraved in the nerves of my brain and will cease to go until I have Alzheimer’s , an attitude which I could only dream of when I was in school, and most of all confidence.

I also have an iPhone, a macbook air and a library of books but who cares?

CHAPTER 1(of the travelogue)

CHAPTER 1

The time to unveil the cloak from my reminiscences has arrived. Its not as exciting as the unveiling the new I Phone, but it is sure as hell intriguing.. I went to the city of dreams, the 'mayanagri' of the Indian subcontinent, to BOMBAY(I like to call the city from its old name, it has got a charm in it). I am from Delhi, so from all the great places accessible nearby why did I choose BOMBAY? Was it the glamour that attracted me or was it the people? Was it the idea of meeting a superstar that drived my craze or was  it the never sleeping immortal sea? The answer; Well, none of these!

See, for a student like myself with no source of income whatsoever, travelling is a luxury found often in dreams with a 'spirit'(of any kind) acting as a catalyst. I needed a very strong reason to convince my parents to spend their hard earned dime for my luxurious(as they like to call it) obsession. Fortunately, one of the colleges in BOMBAY was having its annual fest and our college was participating. That was my pass. A College TRIP!!

My parents reluctantly agreed to send me abroad(any distance outside 100km radius from my home is abroad to them!). I cried, cried with joy and my excitement bore no levels. Such was my enthusiasm the previous night that I hardly slept and was busy revisiting the depths of my mind where my ITENARY was carefully stored. Finally, the auspicious day came but it started with an inauspicious note.

The train which I had to board was delayed by five hours. Living in my country for two decades now, I had adapted myself with the condition of our railways(India has the largest railway network; what an irony) but my elation the night before got the better of my awareness and as a result there I was, standing alone on a deserted platform holding my luggage in the same way as a four year hold holds his toys. But time passed; I listened to each and every song on my playlist, read some pages of a novel I was carrying and went thrice to the inquiry counter to 'fry' their heads with the same question over and over again, "Is there any more delay to the train?". The wait was fruitful. My train arrived and I left Delhi with fireworks laden all across my eyes, fireworks of celebration, of uncertainty and most of all ,of hope that this trip will change me if little

A TRAVELOGUE

A TRAVELOGUE

Wow!!

I have lived up to my reputation to be the greatest procrastinator the world has ever seen. I have broken all my holy vows to blogging by not writing on a regular basis. 

This will not do.

 I need a bashing from someone else or at least an outbreak of emotions to bring me back in line(read form). What I need is a series of abusing, of constant reminding that how big an asshole am I. I made a promise to myself in my last post that "This time I will write sincerely" and I have broken that promise. I can't keep promises even to myself. I just realized that, this is reason why relationships never work for me. How can I keep someone's promises when I don't know how to keep mine.

Enough of moaning!!

Lets get back to business.( and I hope this time my business doesn't shut down for a long time; Lets say NEVER)

One if the reasons I skipped writing for such a long time is that I have been traveling a lot and after settling down it's time to acknowledge my travels. I will be writing this travelogue in parts because 'Lets face it', I am a terrible writer.

Let the games begin.......

                                                     

    PROLOGUE

Why doesn't our lives have an incognito mode?

Just like the modern browsers!

Doing what we like, privately,hidden away from the eyes of other people with no record of our history whatsoever. But life is complicated, that is what i have been hearing till now. So i tried to uncomplicate it by going incognito.  For a change i did something for myself, something i really like, something that gives me a sense of satisfaction only a few can give ( So talking about the incognito mode was a natural thought, you know what i mean!)

Coming back to what i did; i travelled. I travelled to an unknown city filled with unknown people to fulfill unknown aspirations. Living in one place all your life induces a sense of bondage( well atleast for me, it does) , life is mundane, it's predictable. Travelling is one of the ways to break free, or should i say "to spice things up".

Coming to the point ( which i seldom do), i took a leave from my "normal happy life" and took a blasphamous route by doing something against normal regulations.

I traveled my heart out.