What all Do I have now?

Childhood

I questioned everything in my childhood. Not that I don’t raise questions now, the degree and nature of questioning was surely higher and abstract respectively when the amount of responsibility on my shoulders was less. You see today I don’t have time to invest in these trivial questions. Back to my childhood, I was always curious about everything. Why did it happen like that?, what will happen when I do this rather than that?, why does the sun have to set so that night could come?, why do I am the one who always has to go out to bring sweets for guests and not my sister?, what happens when someone dies?, why do I have to save my head when someone dies?, why can’t girls looking like Madhuri Dixit found in streets beside my home? were some of the million questions that reverberated in my mind. I heard from someone that a scientist is the one who finds answers to all unanswered questions. So, I wanted to be a scientist; this way I could get rid of all the noises in my head and be at peace. Then again what would a child know about peace? There is a song in a movie called Rock on! which goes like this: aasman hai neela kyun, paani geela geela kyun, gol lyun hai zameen? which translates roughly to: Why is the key blue?, why is water wet?, why is earth round?. I think this phase of my existence can be linked up to this song.
I could make friends easily, used to play a lot, and ate a lot. I liked talking a lot, talking about anything as long as my hunger for curiosity was satisfied. Then I turned silent. I joined School.

School

The questions were decreasing as my age was increasing. Logic took over imagination, reasoning took over creativity, and shrewdness took over innocence. My father told me repeatedly that education shapes a person’s character, and so I walked on the road illuminated by him. My father is a very wise man, I knew that from the moment I added the word ‘wise’ into my vocabulary. Convincing my father of my capabilities was my utmost priority; so I behaved like an obedient, studious, and hardworking child behaves. I excelled in academics and sports and stayed away from abusive seniors, pretty girls and night outs. I was doing the right thing, I thought. My teachers were singing songs of my praise, parents were urging their sons/daughters to be like me and my father was happy. I had crushes but ignored them because being in a relationship was a taboo for me. What would my father think?, how will I convince him that my hormones took over my thinking?. These were the only questions that echoed in my mind. I lived my school life without living it. If a song is used to represent this phase of my existence it has to be sari umra hum mar mar ke jee lie, is pal to ab hame jine do jine do which translated to all my life I have been living like I am dying, let me live this moment, from the movie 3 idiots. My monotonous life was about to change. College was next in line.

College

 Ah!, when I think of college I can not help but smile ear to ear. What days those were. Initially, my morals, ethics, and values were so strongly induced in me that college was another school. A point of note here, I am not criticising my father for raising me up that way; in fact I am grateful to him because I am who I am because of him, I respect him immensely and will learn from him till my dying breath. Now back to my blabbering. The most difficult thing that I did in college was not learning electrical machines, or writing code, it was letting go; letting go of all the stereotypes that had grown in my mind all these years. No, talking and hanging out with girls is not bad, no, laughing and making jokes about your friends involving a little amount of profanity is not blasphemy, no, the word ‘sex’ is not like the word ’voldemort’ which cannot be uttered loudly in open, and no, failing in exams is not the end of the world. I completely let go. College transformed me from a confused and scared child to an outspoken and rebellious adult. So the song for this part of my life has to be from a movie very close to my heart ,i.e, Udaan; the song is aazadiyan (look it up, no amount of translation can do justice of the beautiful poetry that this song has) 

So, what all do I have now?

I have experiences that are engraved in the nerves of my brain and will cease to go until I have Alzheimer’s , an attitude which I could only dream of when I was in school, and most of all confidence.

I also have an iPhone, a macbook air and a library of books but who cares?