THE OTHER SIDE

The other side, are you listening? You cannot come and go as you like. You cannot manipulate me to do devilish deeds. You cannot render all my thoughts obsolete. You cannot break me into bits and pieces and then expect me to be complete, again. You cannot take me away to a faraway land when each and every conscious cell in my body wants to stay. You sadist!,  planting seeds of aggression and violence in my mind and making me watch while they grow into dark trees. 

The switch to the other side is spontaneous, similar to thinking. It is really beautiful how our minds work, with billions of thoughts fighting each other to see the light of consciousness. You have programmed my mind to make some thoughts win, always. You have controlled my mind like heroin controls the desires of addicts. You make me do things whose guilt I have accumulated for years. Happiness is a state of mind, people believe; you treat it as a thought which can always be discarded by others. I am happy now, I want to say but you laugh as if I cracked a joke. You are me and I am you, both inseparable like people in love. I could say you are the most powerful magnet and I am iron but I know the attraction is far higher. You are as sinister as they come, even the most cruel personalities bow down to you. Can’t you find another muse?, can’t you care?, can’t you let me breathe for once? and can’t you leave as bad habits eventually do? 

I have a beautiful life here, I don’t want to move between here and there. You know how painful it is for me to return? Think of a million people using all their strength to hold you back and you are moving in the opposite direction, think of a moth running away from light, even though it is his biggest desire, think of a fish moving away from water to live on land, think of a lover handing over the hand of his beloved into some other hand, and think of a mother killing her son herself; think of these and a thousand others and combine them. My pain is higher. 

I am loved and am in love. Is it so difficult to comprehend? When I am in you all I am is a body bereft of soul and emotions, a body capable of only hurting and not caring. I will be alone, all alone eventually. This is what you want, right? I think this is what you need to take full control over me. Try all you want, try all you need. I made a promise, a promise that was heard even by you, a promise sacred than the holiest places out there, a promise which inspires me to live, and a promise which will overshadow all your darkness.

Get lost, the promise says.